12 Things Runners Shouldn’t Feel Sorry About

SELF
by SELF
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12 Things Runners Shouldn’t Feel Sorry About

“I vow to stop hanging my sweaty, smelly, super damp, post-workout clothes on your dresser drawers and closet doors. I know you hate that.”

Romantic, right? Those were words I included in my vows to my now-husband at our wedding ceremony last year. And since then I’ve kind of stuck by my vow. I’ve kept my nasty workout clothes mostly contained to my own side of the dresser. As a competitive cyclist, my husband may be a fellow athlete, but he’s not a runner, and we all know runners are a special (extra sweaty) breed.

Whether you’re a seasoned marathoner or an occasional jogger, it’s safe to say that, like me, you’ve picked up a few crazy quirks along with your healthy running habit. And although your training partners totally get it, your non-runner friends and loved ones may not. But whatever. We’re proud of our weird ways and are happy to shout about our runner statuses from the rooftops (or, you know, on Instagram). While, OK fine, we’re willing to apologize for our gross feet when we get pedicures (#runnerproblems), we totally don’t feel bad for our on-the-run lifestyle. Here are 12 things you definitely don’t need to say sorry for.

1. NOT GOING OUT ON FRIDAY NIGHT

We have a long run in the morning. Obviously.

2. BLOWING AN ENTIRE PAYCHECK ON RACE ENTRY FEES

Are we going to win the race and recoup some of our spending? Nope! Do we care? Not at all. Racing keeps us motivated and working hard, and it’s a surefire way to get an awesome start to the day.

3. ORDERING TWO ENTRÉES AT SUNDAY BRUNCH

See aforementioned “weekend long run” status.

4. CRYING IN THE SHOWER

We’re not sad. We’re chafed.

5. BEGGING THE SPINNING INSTRUCTOR TO SEND US HER PLAYLIST AFTER CLASS

But like, immediately. Because we need it before we do that tough tempo run we have scheduled on Thursday morning.

6. SPENDING HOURS PORING OVER OUR POST-RUN DATA

Stats we accumulated on MapMyRun are the only thing we want to spend time with after a run. Splits and segments and new distance records, oh my!

7. ALWAYS EATING SECOND BREAKFAST

We run at 6, eat breakfast at 7:30, and are starving again by 9:15. It’s called second breakfast, people. Get into it.

8. HAVING AN ENTIRE RUNNING-RELATED INSTAGRAM FEED

We like to show the world our race photos, beautiful #seenonmyrun snaps, and celebratory post-long-run jump shots #TeamSELF!

9. ASKING YOU TO PRETTY PLEASE MASSAGE OUR FEET, CALVES, AND IT BANDS WHILE YOU’RE CATCHING UP ON HOUSE OF CARDS

We’ll wear socks if you agree to put in extra time on our heels!


READ MORE > HOW TO RUN TOGETHER… WITHOUT BREAKING UP


10. TALKING ABOUT BATHROOM STUFF ALL THE TIME

Runners know no TMI bounds. So sorry if it’s a little shocking when we reenter society and aren’t supposed to talk about our bathroom issues and GI traumas over cocktails.

11. INDULGING IN WEEKEND NAPS

Sure, we could be doing something more productive. But we wake up early all week and just got back from a training run, and if we’re going to make it to that 8 p.m. dinner res we’re going to need some quality shut-eye first.

12. SQUEEZING IN OUR RUNS WHENEVER AND WHEREVER WE CAN

Sure, we’ll go to your bachelorette party in Vegas. But we’re going to get up and run on the Strip before everyone else is done sleeping off the previous night’s bottle service. (Promise not to wake anyone on our way out.)

And seriously. We’ll try to contain our super smelly stuff.

—By Alison Feller


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About the Author

SELF
SELF

SELF is the magazine that makes living healthy easy and fun. SELF’s motto: Being fit, strong and active means feeling great, being happy and looking your most beautiful. With trademark authority, SELF speaks to women about three key areas of her being: her body, her looks and her life. SELF makes it fun and fulfilling to be your happiest, healthiest, best self. Reaching a total audience of 12 million each month, SELF is the founder of the Pink Ribbon for breast cancer awareness and an ASME National Magazine Award winner for excellence in journalistic achievement in print and digital. SELF is published by Condé Nast, publisher of Vogue, Vanity Fair, Bon Appétit, GQ, Glamour, The New Yorker, Wired and other celebrated media brands. Visit Self.com and follow @SELFmagazine on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Foodily and Google+.

Check out these other great articles from Self.com

 

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